Some of you may be thinking that this is just a silly question, that God, being omniscient and omnipotent, not only knows the time if He were asked, but is in fact, outside of time. The only way that He could be omniscient is indeed if He were outside of this petty human concept that we identify as time and which we break down into three distinct shapes that accord to our own perspective: past, present and future.

But enough of this metaphysical discourse. If God wore a watch, I think he would have to wear something to complement his long flowing robes.  And his hair. It would also have to be of the best materials, so sorry silver, but you’re out. God would only wear platinum or gold, and God with a gold watch would look a little cheesy, doncha think?

Okay, would it be water resistant? Of course! It’s God’s watch! You think it’s going to break if He wants to go for a swim? I think it would be a relatively simple watch, because God favors simplicity, doesn’t he? Maybe just the date and day of the week. And some diamonds. Come on, it’s God, he’s not going to skimp on the diamonds.  God, if you’re reading this, can you give us a hint?