Some of you may be thinking that this is just a silly question, that God, being omniscient and omnipotent, not only knows the time if He were asked, but is in fact, outside of time. The only way that He could be omniscient is indeed if He were outside of this petty human concept that we identify as time and which we break down into three distinct shapes that accord to our own perspective: past, present and future.

But enough of this metaphysical discourse. If God wore a watch, I think he would have to wear something to complement his long flowing robes.  And his hair. It would also have to be of the best materials, so sorry silver, but you’re out. God would only wear platinum or gold, and God with a gold watch would look a little cheesy, doncha think?

Okay, would it be water resistant? Of course! It’s God’s watch! You think it’s going to break if He wants to go for a swim? I think it would be a relatively simple watch, because God favors simplicity, doesn’t he? Maybe just the date and day of the week. And some diamonds. Come on, it’s God, he’s not going to skimp on the diamonds.  God, if you’re reading this, can you give us a hint?

For tools, you’re going to need pairs of needle-nosed pliers and tweezers, in addition to the screwdriver from an eyeglass kit. You can buy find these things individually, or purchase them as a set as part of a watch repair kit (which makes a great present, by the way).

Your first step is to check the back of your watch’s case. If there is a depression around the edge of the case then you can pry it off with your pliers. Alternatively, if you see holes for screws, you’ll have to unscrew each of these and then lift off the case. Next, you need to remove the watch’s rubber gasket, which sits along the rim of the case back.

The battery itself will be a small metallic circular disc fastened either by a cover and screw or spring clip. If there is a cover, you’ll have to unscrew it with your eyeglass screwdriver. For a spring clip, you can pull the battery out with your tweezers or pliers (whichever fits best).

Do not throw out the battery! You need to pay attention to its exact make so that you can buy the same kind as a replacement. After you’ve found your new battery, simply reverse the above instructions to put everything back where it belongs.

Pretty simple, huh?

The thing that a lot of people don’t like about paying for insurance, is that it can sometimes be expensive, depending on the size of the box, weight of the item, and how much you insure it for. However, insuring an item (any item) ensures YOU of two things. First off, if the item gets lost somehow, and you have proof (receipt) of the item, in this case a watch, you can show it to them and they will reimburse you the full amount. It’s still going to be a pain in the butt to replace the item, but replacing it is much better than not getting anything back in return!

Second off, when you insure an item they will most likely give you a tracking or confirmation number. And the person will usually have to sign for the package as well – I believe the sign-age is optional though. Honestly, I think everyone should appreciate the benefits of the tracking/confirmation number and the sign option. This is going to truly allow you to see that A) the package or item got to the person and that B) they, the intended person, got the package.

I have had about three mishaps where I did NOT get insurance on a package and it somehow got lost and I lost everything and never got anything in return! Pay the few extra dollars and save yourself some major heart ache, money and time! This can be especially important if you are sending a relative or a friend a watch and it’s a little on the expensive side. I would think you would WANT to be protected!

If you’re looking to send a watch to a friend, family member, customer, or buyer, you need to keep in mind some guidelines before placing your timepiece in the mail.

First, if you are in the United States, consider shipping your watch through US Postal Service Express Mail. This might be a little more expensive, but your package will be taken care of and not thrown or jostled around.

After you’ve chosen a shipping method, begin by wrapping the watch in a soft cloth—these can be bought just about anywhere. This will protect the bracelet and case back. Next, place the watch in a zip lock bag to prevent water damage. To further cushion your timepiece, wrap it in an extra layer of bubble wrap before shipping.

For optimum protection, most seasoned watch shippers add even one more layer: an acrylic box that fits in your cardboard mailing box. Put your watch in the acrylic box, then tape it shut, surrounding it inside the cardboard box with a light layer of Styrofoam peanuts to keep the two boxes from banging together.

Congratulations, you’re watch is ready to be shipped!